So this is the second NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Program) technique I learned, and also one of the easiest. I wrote about the first technique I learned, which was the Swish Technique here. I have also written about the 4 basic human emotions that affect our daily routine. You can read that here :)

Now, the second one is called, as the title of this post suggests, the BOMBING technique.

Yes, this one's as simple as the name suggests. That is, you bomb people / things / situations.. In your head. Live the dream of a terrorist.. In your head.

I repeat, In Your Head.

Meaning, you imagine it. Safe as that :)

Basically, this technique helps you overcome anger towards anyone, anything or any situation which has affected you in the past or is affecting you right now.

As we all know, stress is at an all time high around the globe these days, and Stress leads to Anger.

You find yourself angry at your child, partner, boss, random people on a packed train or bus, cats, dogs, food...the list just goes on. You're basically not happy. You're frustrated and you don't know why, and you have no reasonable avenue to vent your anger when you don't know why you're angry in the first place.

How do you do it?

Say you're angry with your boss, or your parents; just imagine them in front of you.

Imagine a situation you had with them where they really hurt you with their words or actions.

Relive it in your head, and then you throw an imaginary bomb at them. Destroy them! Destroy everything.

Do it as many times as you want, and you can feel the anger slowly dissipating. 

Again, as explained in my article about the Swish technique, do it only for as long as you feel comfortable.

If your anger doesn't seem to be subsiding then stop, take a look around your surroundings, bring yourself and your mind back to reality and then try again. 

Tips: 

1. Don't push yourself too hard. This is supposed to relieve your stress not stress you up even more. 

2. If you've been trying for quite a while, then take a break. Go take a walk and walk it off. 

3. If at first you don't succeed, don't get fed up. Some people may not get it in the first try. So be patient with yourself and try again after a while. 

4. If you're having a lot of difficulty then I suggest you consult a professional who can coach you. That way you can apply this technique better and get better results. 

If you think this is not your thing, then do stay tuned to know about 3 more techniques that I learned. 

They sure helped me get a hold on my anxiety and I can positively say that I'm about 90% free of it now. I hardly ever get emotional or cry. I'm able to make better decisions because my emotions aren't getting in the way. 

Do take note that I am not a professional and I'm only sharing my experiences and what I learned, here. If you feel like you need someone to confide in and seek advice or therapy, and think the psychologist I consulted can help you, do contact me and I'll share his details with you. 

Wish you an anger-free life! 

View image | gettyimages.com

Today's post will touch on a slightly personal note, but I felt like this should be shared just to lend some form of hope and encouragement to others like me.

I have not confided much in anyone about how affected I am by anxiety and depression. In my 26 years of life, twice I have been at the lowest point in my life - both times equally bad. I learned many different things through both experiences. But, as is well known about depression and anxiety, the phases were the most difficult and I have just started to slowly recover from it now.

The second phase has been as recent as last year, when I actually lost my memory and couldn't recognise people or places. Anxiety attacks were my constant companion - a painful shortness of breath which can cause you to black out in serious cases. Losing consciousness was common in my case.

After much struggle and support from my near and dear ones, I have reached where I am today. I was given medication to support my brain function as well as for sleep and recently, the dosage has been increased.

Recovering is a long and slow process, if it has affected you as much as it has me. And it is definitely not easy on your loved ones either. Earlier in my recovery phase, I was prone to self-mutilation and sudden fits of crying without knowing the reason. My moods also fluctuated drastically and it was nowhere within my control.

There were many instances where I asked why I keep going in circles and how I can change it. And it wasn't till my current visit to India that I found the answers I was looking for, through a counseling session.

The difference between Psychiatrists and Psychologists

I also learned that Psychiatrists are different from Psychologists and Counselors. Psychiatrists only mostly prescribe medicines. Very few psychiatrists actually spend the time to counsel you. Meanwhile, psychologists and counselors do not prescribe medicines. They listen to you, communicate with you and teach you methods to overcome your difficulties.

It is rather important to know this difference, for it can greatly influence the recovery phase. Medication alone is not sufficient in most cases. It was definitely not enough for me.

My counseling was arranged with a well known professor in Kerala, Prof. V. J. Anthony. Today, I just attended my 3rd counseling session. I have been showing significant improvement since the 2nd session, which was last week. I feel different and people around me have also noticed the positive changes in me.

The 4 basic human emotions

When you are anxious or depressed, it is not easy to motivate yourself. And the most common emotions are fear, grief / sorrow and anger.

I learned that these 3 are actually among the 4 most basic human emotions. The words used are Sad, Mad and Scared. The 4th emotion is happiness.. 'Glad'. So it's Glad, Sad, Mad and Scared. Easier to remember that way.

Isn't it really eye-opening and somewhat philosophical that the majority of our basic feelings are negative? Is it not little wonder that people always have to try hard to be happy? It is easier for us to feel angry, scared or sad, because it requires much less effort than to find happiness.

The aim in life is to actually overcome Mad, Sad and Scared, to live with Glad. Many people don't know this and many people, in their effort to face problems in life succumb to Mad, Sad and Scared. That's when depression and anxiety sets in. See - Mad, Sad and Scared leaves people feeling hopeless and helpless.

The methods that Prof. Anthony has been teaching me in the last two sessions are aimed at overcoming the 3 negative emotions and encouraging the indulgence in happiness without feeling undeserving of it. The methods are called Neuro-Linguistic Programming, NLP for short. And I will be writing all about what I've learned in upcoming posts. It's much better to dedicate single, descriptive posts to each of the methods I learned because I wish to share what I learned with everyone out there, instead of just mentioning it.

Whatever I have mentioned in this post was learned through my counseling sessions, and was taught to me by Prof. Anthony. It has shed light on a lot of the questions I had about myself and my illness, which is the reason why I am confidently able to say that I am finally on the road to a complete recovery right now.

Stay tuned for more details on what I learned. 

So it's that time of the year again when the whole country seems to be locked down.

Yes! Everywhere you go most of the shops are closed and you can hear the beats of the lion dance now and then. 

The Chinese are ushering in the year of the goat and the rest of us are having a good long break. 

So, with the shops closed, what else can we do in during the Chinese New Year holidays in Singapore? Well, here are 4 great ideas! 

1. Go shopping! 

That's right. Shops like Cotton on have huge discounts only during this period. We had our hands full shopping at the Cotton On at Causeway Point last year. Maybe you can hit it up this year and see what's on offer. I'm sure other shops will be open too. Have yourself a fun time and go check out random shopping centres these few days.

2. Visit your Chinese friends and learn about their culture 

That'll be nice, won't it? I'm sure there's a lot we don't know about their new year celebrations. You can meet their family, experience their customs, taste their food and have a great new experience. Oh, and don't forget to bring oranges and Ang Bao. 

3. Just relax at home and watch movies with your family. Even better - watch a Chinese movie

Try it. It'll be a change from the Hollywood and Bollywood movies.  There are many awesome Chinese movies you can watch. My favourite are the ones that depict old myths and legends. Don't forget the subtitles. Enjoy! 

4. Explore the Chinese cuisine - in your kitchen

Noodles, Rice, Dumplings... Whatever it may be, just give it a shot. Plenty of recipes to be found online. Worst case scenario - if you can't get all the ingredients, fret not, for there's always cup noodles. 

I hope you guys have an awesome, well-deserved break and may the year of the goat bring you plenty good luck, good health and great fortune! 

Cheers everyone. 

Valentine's Day has been quite the deal for a very long time. But recently, people are starting to
question the purpose of Valentine's day and debating on whether it is right to have just one day out of the whole year dedicated to love.

While many people say love should be shown all year round, others still support the notion of having romantic and special plans for the day.

So which is it?

Well, it is a day dedicated to showing love and appreciation but I also agree that love and appreciation should be shown whenever you get the opportunity.

But let's look at this another way. There are many people who harbour special feelings for another person and are too afraid or shy to approach them. This day could be for them.

It is nerve-wrecking when you have to be the one coming out and confessing your feelings for the other person. Rejection is a very difficult condition to handle. And it is the fear of rejection that holds most people back. They rather see the person they love with someone else than approach the person themselves and take a chance.

So I say, this day is all about encouraging these people to take the chance; to take the first step. When you know there's a day coming up when everyone's going to be expressing their love, it makes it ever so slightly easier for you to do so as well.

Let's show someone the appreciation for being courageous enough to open up their feelings. Let's celebrate the fact that there is at least a day dedicated to love. It's there anyway, so you might as well love your heart out. If there's no special someone, make a new friend! Rather than spend our time on the internet debating whether Valentine's day should be scrapped or kept, just grab the day like every other day and enjoy every moment of it.

'Cuz that's how you respect your life, love, time and that of others in your life, even when you're busy living in a hustling bustling little city.

Happy Valentine's everyone!

As someone suffering from anxiety disorder, I am constantly looking for ways to lift my spirits and stay active.

I have my daily routine to keep myself motivated and though it's hard sometimes, once you push through and overcome your fear of anxiety once, it will get easier every day. You just really really need to take the first step.

So as I was floating around the internet today, I came across this great video which I felt like sharing with everyone. As she says in the video, there are many people nowadays who go through anxiety issues and I think the best way to overcome it is when we tackle things (our fears) ourselves.

This video was made by Lauren who runs a YouTube channel called LaurDIY, where she shares all kinds of DIY projects.

Although these DIY projects seem like really small things, it is these small things that can actually make a difference when you have anxiety.

At the end of the video, Lauren shares her story. Check out the video below:



I find that DIY projects are a great way to overcome any negative emotional or psychological issues, as they can divert our minds through creativity. They keep us occupied and, not to mention, the feeling of satisfaction we get with the finished product is truly motivating.

I hope you guys enjoyed her video as much as I did, and if you know of any interesting DIY projects, do share them with me. I am a lover of all things DIY!

When I was a little girl, I could never fall asleep without covering my eyes with a cushion. It was big enough to cover my entire face, but I would adjust it such that it covers only my eyes. I was afraid of the dark and wasn't very comfortable sleeping on my own. And being the first child, I had to sleep on my own from a pretty young age.

I remember thinking that all sorts of monsters and aliens would enter my room at night and I would be invisible to them if I kept my eyes closed. Pretty much like how a cat thinks nobody sees it eating or drinking because it's closes its eyes when eating or drinking.

But no matter how hard I tried, curiosity always had the better of me, and I would take a peak - just to be sure that there weren't any ungodly creatures invading my room when I'm trying to sleep. So, the solution I figured one of those days was to use the cushion to cover my eyes.

I slept like that for many years. We shifted a few houses in that duration and nothing changed. Then we bought a car, and my mom decided she needed back support and took my darling little cushion. We've given the car away but I've not seen my cushion since. Of course we've had many other cushions but somehow none of them were as comfy as the original.

Thankfully. by then I'd outgrown my fear of aliens and monsters and was only afraid of ghosts. So I still had to cover my eyes. With the cushion gone, I resorted to using a blanket instead. At first I used a comforter but it was too hot. Then I traded it with my sisters for another warm but thinner blanky. And immediately grew very attached to it.

But it had an itsy bitsy problem. I had to hold one corner of the blanket up around my face with one hand. That way I covered my ears and eyes but left my nose and mouth out to breathe (smart!). But I'd grown taller over the years and now one leg would stick out. What could I do? I had to choose between my leg and my eyes.. and I chose my eyes.. My leg stuck out like a thermometer gauging the temperature of my surroundings. Now I'm used to it.

It remained like that until the near future. I don't know when it changed, but now I can sleep with or without a blanket or cushion covering my face, and if a ghost ever decided to take the chance to bug me in my sleep, it would really regret life in the afterlife.

This is just a very small example of changes in our daily lives. It is little changes like this that we often miss to realise in life. Most of the time when people say we have changed, they are not referring to big changes, but little changes like this. Most of us are too busy to look within ourselves to identify how we have changed with the times but are the first to step up to another person and accuse them of changing at the slightest bit of change in their habits or behaviour. That's because it's human nature to resist change and it's easier to observe others than observe ourselves.

But that's never a good habit. Firstly because it will create a false sense of confidence that we are better than others. Secondly, a person can never grow unless he/she looks within, realises their own faults and put in a conscious effort to change for the better.

I hope this message with inspire at least one of my readers to search within and become a better person for a better future and a better world. And do share with me your memories of change in your comments to this post :)

Taken from www.gauraw.com

This is it, it's the end of yet another year.

We're saying goodbye to 2013.. forever.

The days, the moments, the feelings that we had experienced in 2013 is never going to return, except  in memories..

Take the good that 2013 came with, learn from the bad, be grateful to God for the year that has passed and pray for the upcoming year. 

While my husband was talking to his friend today, his friend said, "There's no such thing as 'New Year brings good luck'. Luck is in your hands. It depends on how you handle situations, the decisions you make in life and how dedicated you are to your life."

 I found it very true. Although there are situations where we think, "man, that person is just plain lucky", most of the things that happen in our lives are directly related to our decisions and mindset. 

If you choose to always complain about your life, you will hardly find something to appreciate in it. 

If you choose to compare your life to that of others' based on what you only see and not experience in their shoes, then you'll most probably not have time to look into your life and realise your worth. 

Everyone has problems. Most do not show it out, because it's their personal life. Others show it in different ways. Whichever it is, one will not know the true feelings of another in any given situation unless you live in their shoes 24/7/365. 

This is because, many things (such as a person's past, attitude, mindset, feelings, mood, etc.)  can affect a person's reaction to or perception of situations. So it's always best not to judge by comparing. It's never fair...

Then, if you choose to justify your actions, especially when you know it is wrong, then what is the point in making mistakes? In life, we are bound to make mistakes, and when we do, the right thing to do is learn from it - not justify it. 

Learning from mistakes can ensure we don't harbour grudge, animosity or hide things from our conscience. It can also teach us how not to repeat a mistake, thus making us wiser and better at handling situations, resulting in a better, happier and more contented life. 

This is my motto for the upcoming year - "Do not complain, compare or justify. Just give my best in everything I do, and if I make a mistake, learn from it."

I'm looking forward to a great year ahead.. and I wish one and all the same. Happy New Year!

Have you ever been in a situation where you are just feeling so absolutely down and disappointed and no matter how badly you wanted to cheer up you just couldn't? When you feel this way, it's almost certain that that day is going to be a total waste of time, because all you feel like doing is just procrastinate and complain all day, and drag yourself down even more. 

It could be because you're really stressed up or because you're tired. Sometimes it can be simply because your body or mind just wants to have a break. BUT, in our super fast society, it's not that easy to take breaks, is it? 

If you're working full time, you may not be able to get off work so easily. Some companies are liberal and understanding but some aren't. So what can you do to lift up your spirits? Or rather, is there anything at all that you can do to feel rejuvenated??

As it turns out, there is! In fact today was just that kind of day for me. I was in a total potato mood. For me, it was simply because I had a lot of things to do and felt like I wasn't scheduling my work properly. I was pretty stressed up. But work was work, and I had to do it no matter what happened. Out of desperation, I started looking for ways to feel better.

And these are what I found helpful:

1. Take a power nap

It is possible that you're feeling this way due to lack of quality sleep. A power nap usually does the trick, but for others it might worsen your day. The latter is especially so if you are prone to bursts of headaches after taking a nap. I have been suffering from migraine for some time now, and I have been told to take a medicine every night to induce sleep. Not that I don't sleep well normally. This is just to make sure I get sound uninterrupted deep sleep. The downside? I can hardly get enough of sleeping now. I have always been a sleep-addict, and this has made me worse! Today I woke up with that feeling of not having slept enough. So I decided to take a power nap and thankfully it worked. It was just a short nap that lasted between 1/2 hour and one hour, but that was good for me.

2. Take a break and concentrate on something else that you enjoy. 

Don't worry about not having enough time to do this, because if you don't do something to get yourself back on track, you're not going to get anything done anyway. Or, you might finish your work but it won't have the quality and standard that you expected. This can make an already bad day worse. Which do you prefer? If you're at work, just slip away for a bit and walk around. If you're a smoker, do something else. Don't smoke when you're stressed up - you'll only end up smoking more. Take a coffee break maybe, or watch a movie. You can listen to songs, dance to yourself, or even go for a short work out. Perspiring can help some people. You know what you enjoy best, and this is your life - when you need a break, you need a break - so do it.

3. Meditate a little

Meditation does wonders if done the right way. Plenty of meditation music can be found online. Choose one and play it softly. Sit up straight, close your eyes and take deep breaths. While doing this, make sure you're not thinking of the things you have to do before the end of the day. Just keep your mind blank or think of yourself in a place that is free of stress. Imagine a sense of peace and calm wrap around you. As you exhale, imagine yourself letting go of whatever is troubling you. If you're doing this the right way, you will realise after a while that your body is actually tensed up from the stress you had. When you realise this, loosen your muscles. This will enable you to relax more and rejuvenate your mind and body. You can choose how long you want to meditate for, whether it's 5 minutes or 1 hour. Once you're done, open your eyes slowly and do some light stretching exercise. Then have something to drink - plain water would be the best. Now look at the work you have to do, and pace yourself out. You will be able to plan your work well and work better.

4. Do you feel like eating? Yes? Then enjoy some good food!

Forget about that diet you're taking for a while. You're controlling yourself a lot as it is - that's why you're feeling down. So let it go for a bit. Shake it up and live a little, okay? But don't eat too much. Eating too much can make you feel bloated and ruin your day instead of making you feel better.

5. Finish one item in your list of things to do. 

Yes. As hard as it may sound, this is actually pretty helpful. Just take a look at your to-do list and identify the one that's the easiest. It may be just calling a person and setting up a date, time and venue for a meet up, but you don't feel like doing it because you're feeling all down. You just don't feel like doing anything! But take a tiny bit of effort to straighten up and actually get this call over and done with so you can strike it off your to-do list. Many people say that accomplishing something from their long list of things to do, actually lifts their spirits and makes them happier. It's one less thing to do, and it shows that you didn't waste your day! You accomplished at least one thing, so that's something to give yourself a pat on the shoulder for. 

These things work for me. What about you? Are there other tips you use to lift your spirits when you're feeling down and grumpy? If so, share them with me. Leave a comment or two. :)